Monday, February 27, 2006

Turns out, that not only did I have a gastric attack, I am also down with the flu. Argh!

My headache got no better, so I saw my doctor again today. He said my throat was heaty and so I got some Danzen (an anti-inflammatory enzyme, similar to Lysozyme and the like). I told him I could not sleep in the afternoon today - which made my sickies even more uncomfortable - and he gave me Lorazepam so that I can sleep tonight. Ah, bliss tonight then. Pacofen (that is paracetemol with codeine, same as Anarex or Panamol) had no effect on my headache the entire day so he gave me this monster $3 a pop drug which I ate at the clinic, and I no longer remember the name. I am embarrassed to say that as I popped it out of the foil to pop it in me, I accidently dropped and plopped it and it hopped on the clinic floor a few steps away, oops. Three-second rule applies, with some vigorous blowing and picking out of the visible dirt. $3 a pop, no replacement. Had to do it, it was my own usual silliness at fault.

Doctor says my headache will be all right by tomorrow. A two-day headache is finally letting up!
not well. think i am getting a fever. despite copious amounts of paracetamol plus codeine. am sad.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

more brainless things people do when they are unwell

The Emotional IQ Test
How People-Smart Are You?

E's Emotional IQ is 123.

This number is the result of a formula based on how many questions you answered correctly on Tickle's Emotional IQ test. But your Emotional IQ score is much more than just a number: it's an indicator of success.

Research has shown that people with high emotional intelligence scores — not necessarily those with the highest IQ scores — tend to be the most valued and productive employees and have the longest and happiest romantic relationships.

So, where are you most emotionally smart? Your test results show that your strongest suit is empathy — your ability to see things from someone else's point of view.

The Brain Test

What Your Brain Says About How You Think and Learn

E is Left-brained

Most left-brained people like you feel at ease in situations requiring verbal ability, attention to detail, and linear, analytical ability. Whether you know it or not, you are a much stronger written communicator than many, able to get your ideas across better than others.

It's also likely that you are methodical and efficient at many things that you do. You could also be good at math, particularly algebra, which is based on very strict rules that make sense to your logical mind.


I don't even like aeroplanes, but I went to boring Asian Aerospace to spend my Saturday afternoon because otherwise poor-thing Calvin would have had to go alone via public transport by himself out to the boondocks - I had to go to Pasir Ris again! - when he had two complimentary tickets to waste, courtesy of his daddy. It was hot and I came back feeling hot. Thank God for $8 shades from Thailand, else it would have been worse. I can barely comprehend the fascination with planes. Nice to see meh?

Saturday night was Phuture and the music was really good, you didn't need to drink to be happy. Kelvin and Daphne, while they were waiting for C and I, had multiple one-for-ones before we arrived, and C and I only had two drinks each the whole night. Cal had a whiskey neat and a screwdriver with less vodka - yeah, the bartender was like, 'You sure ah?', and I had two very sissy drinks: a whiskey dry and a yawn, yawn, cosmopolitan.

Then came Sunday. Today I am ill from gastric pains, headaches and feeling faint, because I had no medicine in the house anymore. I am still feeling unwell. Meals or no meals. I need Famodine. Now I realise I need it to control my gastric pains, I have been okay till now largely only because of Famodine. I have been surviving on them most days of my weeks. Doctor was closed today and I couldn't go get any meds. I feel no good at all. Need to rest till I can go doctor tomorrow.

Friday, February 24, 2006

biz read feed

If you are into business books, check out Business Week's reading list.

It has been a while since I read business books now, I should discipline myself to pick them up again.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

one week in February

Now that I am finally home and rather work-free for the remains of the night, I find myself awake from the over-zealous amounts of caffeine I have ingested unwarily - through teh c peng (siu dai) and Panadol Extra.

I am exhausted. It is Friday as I speak but I have little of a weekend to look forward to because I will have to wake early anyway (unless I somehow really cannot make it already), and I have work to do on both Saturday and Sunday. I am only glad that I need not have to go to Pasir Ris on weekdays next week because that school is having their CA1, so I can take a break and concentrate on my other projects and portfolios at work.

I still give tuition to my secondary school kids even though I am way past the undergraduate phase, because of a couple of reasons: firstly I need some extra pocket money, less so now, but it is still life-saving as I am still a poor semi-entrepreneur. Secondly I want to carry my kids till they graduate: two of them are taking their O levels this year, and the third is doing hers next year, so though I can do without, I am committed to them by some integrity. For these reasons I definitely spend my Saturday mornings, Sunday afternoons and evenings, with these students.

It is only February, but I really already need a holiday, just like some lifeless wimp. So Calvin says the AUD is going down by the end of this year, back to luxurious 1.0+++ rates like those of 2002. Lovely. Perhaps an Aussie holiday for me this year-end. In the meantime, a quick check at the bank account and schedule, -

I think I will probably just be glum and type away here.

Some friends will say, perhaps a beer. But I can't, now, with the Panadol in me still. I drank two glasses of tao huay zhui instead. Hence you can see I have little to destress with and, in fact:

much to destress about -

Apart from having been busy and tired everyday, waning away are also my patience, sense of self-efficacy - what efficacy? - and general happy feelings. I am only happy for a few things: seeing my folks at work makes me happy, and when I play worship songs on the guitar, that is when I cannot help but smile. There are few other genuine instances.

My job is bigger than me by a thousand times, I feel rather not-so-good. They say, find one thing you do well, and do it. I am not that great at management, nor art, nor teaching. In fact for that matter, I do not really know what I am marvellous at. I am one of those people who currently are 'good' at everything but not great at anything.

I think if you made me just sit down and do recruitment for a large company, I will do it well - I am great at drafting selection criteria, doing interviews, find the right folks through my network. But I am not (no longer) in recruitment; recruitment is just one of the many things I have to do, and it is rewarding now only because we get to work with these people. Plus because I thrive on performance appraisals, feedback and substantiated affirmation, whatever I do now is only a trifle confidence-building, save for the results we reap from whatever I might have done meagrely well, because, there are simply no one-ups or two-ups and the like, to give me my 360 performance appraisals, or teams by which bosses will affirm you in front of, and all that snazzy MNC stuff. Only relationships - they are what keep me going, to see my work carry someone else's burden, or inspire and enlighten, or to make them feel self-fulfilled and nearer to their destiny-fulfilment. I find myself constantly small in comparison to my job(s) otherwise. Reaching the end of my twenties and I am still here.

I wonder what my mom was like when she was my age. I was born when she was 27 just like I will be this year. I am sure she had it harder than me at this time of her life, because of family, work, survival, and likely because of a lack of a divine relationship with God. Today, she is still vulnerable, but incredibly wiser, and less critical and impatient, I think, though because we live apart I may not be entirely objective about this. But I think my parents at this age were really passionate go-getters, meaning impulsive, hard-knocked survivors who may reach the brink, yet still maintain their foothold on whatever that remains, and clamber out to safer ground. When will I be wise enough for my age?

There are years of my life that I no longer remember. Every day seemed the same, numb, and I did things without much emotion and thoughts to remembrance. I am not entirely sure why that was so. Much cause of my explanation, would be that it was due to my depression. I hardly even remember how long I was ill for, or which year it was now. I sometimes worry I might relapse if I make the same emotional mis-management mistakes, or do not grow up with my coping skills to fit the challenges of a late-twentier.

About leisure: I have not been reading except for trashy female mags - Her World, Elle, Style. In fact, after I have browsed the trends and gained some fashion-art inspiration, I have come back to the end of it and I am still bored. Little stimulus to sleep, little stimulus to wake up to.

Not any activity now that is within my doing reach, is able to make me feel much glee, The glee curve is probably at its lowest of the week right now, not that I have completely ignored the downward trend, I have been contrarian about it and have kept introspecting during these days of the week to contain it all and get up to 'whee!' like a Ribena berry eventually. Meanwhile, there is really nothing that I feel like doing very much, excitedly at that, even Breakinasia sounds so far away when it is actually this Saturday night. If not for Calvin, Kelvin and Daphne I think it wouldn't even stir me.

And so I write here as usual, writing to communicate, for you to read, for me to map my thoughts into your perception. Read me long enough and you would probably think my blog is a whore-house of cleverly packaged insecure thoughts, entertaining, and worrisome at times. I guess I don't mind the publicity. I keep myself close to you, while remaining my distance that I cannot help - Syl says I am distant, I forgot that I really am, and I am not sure why. Cal the Geek will say, it is probably because I am an alien, or some mutant monster!

Tell me if you enjoyed this post, not just because I mentioned my insecure motivation by affirmation, but because if you like it, I will write more, and bring my distance into obscurity. I cannot write for a living, once again, good but not great, but I am motivated by my relationships, that reward and fulfill me much while I am on this earth, and functional at that. I don't want to let you go.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Tonight I found out:

From Angie, that I have a fetish for seeing toothbrushes of loved ones together in the bathroom; that buying from Shop n Save downstairs and collecting the Xiang Yun 5% rebate while doing lovely grocery shopping, is NOT auntie.

From Daffy, that I look like a cute male guitarist! Ooh - and in Blinkymummy style, I is happy! Daffy also says that I am a thinker, am interesting and sees the beauty in everyday things!

My Johari window thingie has given me the to-date, unanimous result that I am intelligent and energetic. Do my Nohari for me too if you haven't!

Love is in the air!


It is almost 10.30pm, and tonight, here I am at my usual place in front of the computer, as I have been on-and-off since past dinnertime.

I have work to do, but what am I doing playing Spider Solitaire? I could be playing more mind-requiring games like Scrabble that is Literati, but no.

Somehow I want to while the time away leisurely, unthinkingly, yet I fear the impending pressure that will form as I push my work till later and later. Furthermore I have to wake up really early soon for tomorrow's lesson. Too little time. Irony of that all.

I could be watching TV, or reading, but no. Neither I do not wish to resume painting, as Enid and I have done the past afternoon, it is rather tiring - the cleaning up especially, surely we do enough of it already?

So I am being Elaine, and being escapist, worrisome, procrastinating and lethargic, the usual. I can barely even write properly. Neither here nor anywhere.

In need of stimulation, probably.

Not that I have no challenges, for I do. Managerial ones which I find myself barely adequate to do. How is it people can rise to managerial capacities at my age without seeming to falter very much. H will say, 'but we are all learning,' but I feel he is ahead of me already, by natural selection of sorts, just like how he feels perhaps some similar way towards me.

Physical stimulation, that I have had: coffees, teas, vodka - even though I actually seldom enjoy vodka, which I had with mango and orange juice. Cal would have said, that is too clubbish a drink for home, but it was nice.

So, what do I need?

Even thinking about what to wear tomorrow is a thought that requires too much effort. Hardly excited - perhaps just a little - about my recent shopping loot. But elseways, not really revved up for anything at all now.

And so, perhaps...... Breakinasia at Phuture this Saturday! That might help some way -

I hope I regain my creativity and drive to accomplish, soon, preferably, by tonight or tomorrow morning. I figure, maybe I am overworked but I think I am underworked so hence the limbo. I personally feel I can accomplish twice the workload I am doing now, but because I am lazy and waste time doing things of leisure, I am unable to, and that is my own fault and lack of vigour that causes it to be so. I have no idea how to solve this problem. I think it might be a sign of a strain of workaholism in me, that is disguised by my need for tai-tai-dom all at the same time.

Perhaps I should just leave the work for tonight, till tomorrow. That really takes a load of my mind even while worrying me subconsciously at the same time. I will have to find a way and a day to deal with all of that which lies in that invisible stack of to-dos.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

of addicts and geeks

So anyway yeah I'm a reading addict: I have March issues of Style, Elle and Her World, and borrowed 2 art-related books from the library as well as daily read off bloglines and etc. I am a reading geek. But Calvin is uber geek: he reads scientific calculator manuals - at least he says he attempts to - as well as pores over the manuals of his new computer parts:

PSU: Silverstone zeus 560w
CPU: AMD Opteron 175
Motherboard: MSI K8N Neo4 Platinum
Ram: 2x 1gig Kingston DDR400
Graphics: Sapphire ATI 1900xtx
Harddisks: 2x 250gb sata 2 Western Digital 16mb cache (raid 0)
CD: Pioneer DVD RW
Audio: Creative Soundblaster Audigy2 OEM
Misc: Gigabyte Galaxy Watercooling.

I posed for the camera holding the freaking graphics card which the guys at the shop were loot-wanking over - and I had no idea what in the world it was I was holding. The picture turned up on hwz forum for a moment before the server had some problems and erased the post among others.

So, C the uber geek. He says he can run two games at the same time, and his character Jorale looks really good on his computer, what with the 17 inch LG LCD tv monitor and all. If this were MSN, I would put the nerd smile 8-| emoticon now. And now I return to my girlie mags and perhaps another beer.

hiao weekend

I had a really hiao weekend; spent so much time holidaying away my weekend right here in Singapore.

You see, it feels like a holiday because, among other holiday-ish reasons, it was rather reminiscent of the days I was hardly studying while doing my degree. When we could have late suppers despite a lack of personal transport, lie around in bed and do nothing but some half-hearted cuddling, closeness and small talk.

On Friday, after cell group, I cabbed down to Adam Road with my guitar on my back after-use. I was to meet my Calvin who actually intended to come for cell group too but he hideously overslept past his alarm much like I was to end up doing this Sunday morning too. So we ate yummy prawn mee at Adam Road - he without the prawns and I without the mee. Yes we are an oddity.

And we spent the rest of the night doing a lot of other holidayish stuff, including, watching the continuing episodes of Full Metal Alchemist, our latest joint anime craze. We end up sleeping at about 5am.

The next day C went on a raid with his guild on WOW and I go for a lesson with my student Alyssa. We met for lunch via cab at Eunos market to have the best lor mee in Singapore.


Located at Eunos Market, next to the MRT. Open only till 2pm everyday. No kidding, it is really very nice. Anyway, Calvin ate $5 worth, this is his second bowl. The stall has, surprisingly, no famous sticker-posters telling of its great worth. But is really good, must try.


After our monstrously heavy lunch, we went to cycle at East Coast, where I got a burn from a lack of protection, because our thoughts for cycling were completely spontaneous, we were hardly dressed for it. Oh well, almost anyway.



I brought the silly Kyocera camera along to take pictures for the kids to paint Impressionism with. The camera is not great, the weather was, though the time of day not ideal for Impressionism:



The weather was really God-sent, for we avoided the parts of East Coast Park that rained, somehow in a timely manner. After that, we went home by bus, it rained heavily, but it was almost completely rain-less around my house. So we walked from bus stop to home dry. After showering, we went to Siglap for dinner at Killiney kopitiam, not before we watched some more episodes of Full Metal Alchemist of course.

We slept early that night, before midnight.

But I still was shacked the next day, and woke at 1130am from hunger! Ate a quickie breakfast consisting of chocolate bread, Earl Grey tea and chicken-in-a-biskit. Yes, I undid most of the good done by the workout on Saturday by now. C was already up since 8am, doing another raid on WOW playing, of course, his alter ego Jorale, the troll shaman.

Of my students I was supposed to meet today, one was very ill and her mom smsed me to cancel tuition for today, which meant that I only had one lesson to give today to another student. Which I did, after, eating at Pastamania Parkway, bacon aglio olio fusili, of course. And doing some shopping, where I bought a top from GG5 on 50% off, 2 bras from Marks and Sparks (no sale, but great fit), 4 pairs of undies from Topshop on 20% off. Yes I have been due for some kind of wardrobe overhaul all this while. I only shopped today as a by-the-way gesture, as I have not managed to plan any shopping rendezvous with any girlfriend for a long time now. And C, what was he doing while I was shopping? Oh well, apart from being the porter, he was playing Solitaire on his O2 somewhere, doing 2-second browses at Topman, and poring over the weird things sold at Topshop - check out the store scrutinisingly to know what they are.

It has felt like a holiday this weekend, also because C has not had to return the family car, because we lived without it for the weekend, and he stayed over at mine without having to rush home at any one time. Which really is a good thing, also because parking at Parkway is not very pleasant.

After meeting my other student at Pasir Ris, I walked around White Sands and bought two girlie mags - my weakness, I know - as well as a new pair of shoes! Pumps in black velvet and with frills and a tiny detail of beads. Yummy. Got them at a discount, for $26.

Was hardly hungry, ate the lovely pies from Cottage Pies, and still have some left over.

Was just trying to play a rendition of Quando3 on my guitar. Also, having a beer, and reading off the net, writing here, and doing laundry. Will pore over my girlie mags, and hang the laundry later, and perhaps another beer. Lovely, lovely.

It has been a lovely weekend.

from irwin

When I was helping Cass with her requisite for a poem on her photography journal, about things people throw away, I asked Irwin to share some if he could, ideas on what Cass could put on her cover page.

Now, miles too late, but yet better than never, is a poem I would like to save and share here:

"thoughts on unpacking"
by tomm gunn

Unpacking in the raw new rooms, I clear,
Or try to clear, a space for us, that we
May cultivate an ease of moving here
With no encumbrance near,
In amplitude. But something hinders me:

Where do these go, these knick-knacks I forgot?
—Gadgets we bought and kept, thinking perhaps
They might be useful someday, and a lot
Of others that were not:
Bent keys, Italian grammars, Mickey Mouse caps.

And there are worse grotesques that, out of sight,
Unpacked, unlabelled, somehow followed too:
The urgencies we did not share, the spite
Of such and such a night,
Poses, mistakes—an unclean residue—

That drift, one after other, till I find
They have filled the space I carefully prepared;
The sagging shapes I thought we left behind
Crawl out within in the mind
Seeming to sneer 'This is the past you shared.'

I take a broom to them; but when I thrust
Round the diminished luggage, some roll back,
Surviving from my outbreak of disgust
As balls of hair and dust
Made buoyant with a kind of fictive lack.

I need your help with these. They rest unseen
In furniture we know, and plot a changing
To grey confusion of the space between.
Now, as I sweep it clean,
I realize that love is an arranging.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

my johari window

Got the idea from yizhen

So you are supposed to go click on my johari window and choose 5 words that describe me best. Thanks for taking the time!

mark 8

31 And He began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things, and be rejected by the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again. 32 He spoke this word openly. Then Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him. 33 But when He had turned around and looked at His disciples, He rebuked Peter, saying, “Get behind Me, Satan! For you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.”

34 When He had called the people to Himself, with His disciples also, He said to them, “Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. 35 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it. 36 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? 37 Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? 38 For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him the Son of Man also will be ashamed when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels.”

As I read this over breakfast, I thought about what it meant, in context of the story, to deny myself: JC said this, it happened right after Peter acted in his own reason and wisdom, and was corrected towards a higher purpose thereafter. He said to Peter, that he had in mind the things of men, not of God.

Sometimes we think we can find a way to win an argument about God, but actually in the process of that, we lose our soul. It is like when we think we won, we actually lost. Maybe we lose that friend whom we argued with. Maybe we lose the God who wants to reckon with us. Maybe we lose out on a blessing God wants to give us but we refuse to believe and receive.

It also means that when we really want to follow God, we have to really put our own strength, wisdom, reason, aside to the point of denial - in comparison to the acknowledgement of His strength, wisdom and reason.

Have you ever thought that you were good at something?

After a while, in the face of something greater, you realise that what you might have thought was adequate initially, is thoroughly lacking actually. And you get humbled for that.

Before your world gets taken apart in that way, in the epitome of inadequacy, relent and think: deny yourself, take up your cross - a higher cause than yourself alone, and follow Him, someone greater than you, who will give what you need to make it in and more importantly, for this world.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Saturday, February 11, 2006

downstairs my flat

Such a lovely day today. Despite every bone aching and throat being sore from the busy week, lunch around my neighbourhood led me to be inspired of my near-east location. I had a thought to rush to the beach nearby enough, which I would if I had a companion to.



I can hardly believe I stay around here. It is almost wonderful. My flat is a great buy.



Renoir would have loved the shadows cast by the leaves downstairs of my flat today. Impression, indeed.


And so do I...


Yeah I cut my hair, yesterday. I look like a spunky girl-boy now.

Lovely. Anyone for a cycling rendezvous at East Coast?

Friday, February 10, 2006


most start-ups fail in their second year.

two years plus and growing stronger still. i could elaborate but i would be bragging. let's just leave it at that - fun and madness.

to my partner and legal boss, the guy that signs the cheques, colleague and best friend, enemy and unfortunate ex-lover, the one who can actually see what i see when i say i want to pluck every star out from the sky, the one who tolerate my shit, and saw me grow up, the one i share so many of my friends with and vice versa: it has been a while now, and it will be bumpy still, but nothing beats a wonderful bumpy ride that leads you straight up to the mountains of Chiangmai to the songs 'These Thousand Hills' and 'King of Glory' by Third Day plugged into your ears. That will be our ride, thanks.

and to my God, the one who put that seed in me when I was seventeen years old, the one who loves me despite my shit and sin, loves me despite my lack of love, loves me despite my mistakes in love, the one who gave us the point where we were and the point we should end with, and just let us make the first step towards drawing the line between. no one else could inspire a vision like that, than You. and if anything happens along the way, you have already laid out the solution for every trouble we need to shoot, right there in your wisdom manifest, the one who told me that i had to go, and lead the world, despite mini-me: words can never be adequate because language is ruinous when masked in the likes of You.

Thursday, February 9, 2006


Matthew 11.28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Learn from him, Jesus, and I will find rest-

When he was stressed, he took a timeout to pray alone.

He took hold of opportunities to teach his team members whenever possible. Almost every on-job scenario could be a teaching and learning opportunity, that could be used to build up the esteem and efficacy of his folks.

He made his disciples successful in their jobs, even from the beginning, when the fishermen needed to get a successful catch that day.

He may not have told them everything he was struggling with, but he did confide in them at times, to share his burden with them, that they may know him and his purpose better.

He knew his purpose.

He had confidence of the Father.

Rest, my soul.

I am sure we could learn from many others. It would be much more refreshing though, to learn from one who was gentle and humble in heart. Just remember the arrogant or self-centred bosses you ever had: you might have learnt valuable stuff, but the emotional experience had little feel-good factor.

And working for a meaningful cause - that sure beats slogging your life away, for nothing. Hence his yoke is easy and his burden is light.
painting relieves stress.

Monday, February 6, 2006

spot on

taken from ampulets

7 Bad Habits of busy folks
1. Trying to live according to a to-do list
2. Not having a conversation
3. Snapping when asked to repeat yourself (ditto)
4. Dehydrating.
5. Compromising sleep.
6. Waking up way too late (er, for the ill-disciplined variety of busy-ness)
7. Wishing you had slept/woken up earlier.

I have all of them. Right now.

Saturday, February 4, 2006

slinking around

Smudged mascara, tank top and underwear. Late quiet night, music on, lingering in the stillness of the flat at this time. Almost-finished coffee, after many others.

No it is not a film noir moment. I am working late, trying my best to stay awake and do the best slam-your-hands-down job I can for Monday afternoon's project.

mark 1

How much you want to read the bible depends on how much you want to grow, spiritually.

So, here we are.

I will post a link to a chunk of bible passage, every few days, that I will be reading, based on an glorious ambitious effort that my church has put together in the form of a year's worth of the entire bible.

Motivated to do this here on worlds upon words because I read the bible online, internet junkie that I am. Plus, it goes back to the basis of worlds upon words.

Take my world apart, I am on my knees.

mark1.21 Then they went into Capernaum, and immediately on the Sabbath He entered the synagogue and taught. 22 And they were astonished at His teaching, for He taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes.

I suddenly realise, that JC was on the ball when he went about his work, for immediately on the day of Sabbath, where people honour God by worshipping him with other like-minded folks, he stepped into the synagogue and taught.

On the ball.

And with authority.

Talking about knowing what you have to do in life. He spoke as if he knew, which he did - come on, he is God - and there he exuded confidence and skill and firm standing whilst doing his destiny-laden tasks.

I should be like him. To do my work with such efficacy and skill, such firm grounding and authority in my own. To be so on the ball, nothing losing, making a huge presence. Knowing what I have to do in this world. Small things that I have to do today and tomorrow at work-ministry, make up a part of the grand plan which we may only as yet know the end of.

But it takes only two set of coordinates to draw a straight-line graph. Where you are today, and where you have to go. If you have no clue where you are going in your life, then, life will hardly be a straight path, if at all a path, you will not likely be very on the ball all the time at work, your clout of authority will stink of pride, despite your efficacy.

Destiny laden path, I shall walk, with efficacy, wasting none, and with confidence of authority, as one who has been revealed a measure of her earthly destiny.

'Save the starfishes with me. Not just that one, but all of them.'

Thursday, February 2, 2006

sleazy slothful slut

Something is very wrong with the way I function.

Firstly, I am an escapist. Hence sloth and procrastination are my biggest weaknesses. I spend most of my time being lazy. Especially when faced with tasks that are challenging, I feel sleepy.

Secondly, I feel somehow that no one will understand the kind of stress that I have. I have barely told anyone. So I may be completely off tangent with that perception. Then again, because of that I feel so unable to cope most of the time. I get my stuff done, but with lots of major slothing and heart palpitations first. Not forgetting the inherent, usual, constant sleepiness I always have, when about to do something meaningful.

And what do I sloth with? Anything except the task at hand of course. I spend most of my time reading, books or anything off bloglines. Also, even laundry is appealing. Ah, the wonderful smell of fabric softener. Time to buy new Vanish and Dettol laundry disinfectant!