flowers light up my day

I think the value of fresh flowers in the home is underrated. These gerberas, pale enough to match my faint mood, pink enough to be cheery.

For a few dollars every now and then, a worthwhile indulgence - no, necessity almost.

KL Velvet pics

Me, Doji, Shuyi, Enid, Pixavonne




Eugene (Doji's friend who got us into Velvet for free), me and Shuyi

hobbies- updated

I need to regain interest in my hobbies. Slowly but surely.



Buy books --- check
Write --- check
Read --- check
Music --- check
Play guitar --- check
Paint/draw ---
World of Warcraft --- slight
Exercise --- check
Shopping --- check

Dinner was nice, tomyam soup, spring onion and ginger chicken, rice, teh-C.

what I did this weekend

On Friday, I hogged the photocopier for two hours after work and ended up leaving the office at nine plus in the evening.

I missed going to cell group.

Then I went home, and got ready for the Stellar party at Phuture. C came to pick me up and we went, getting Daffy and Kenny along the way too.

We had loads to drink. I had at least two Sex-on-the-beach-es, and some other shooter-types of drinks like 'Illusions' and 'Slippery Nipples'. Also had a Chivas, and a beer.

Then I got home and slept in my makeup! I am a monster. I woke up looking nice and smelling terrible.

I woke and munched on some oatmeal squares, and promptly went and slept through most of the day, save to get up to eat my lunch at three. I also arranged for Elvis to come service my aircon on Monday.

At dinner time we ordered Macs and watched anime. C then went on to play WoW, while I went and cleaned the house. I cleaned all the rooms except the disused study room, and the toilets. I also did laundry, ironing, and changed the sheets.

Then we slept at three a.m. That was when I finished my housework, showered, and lay down to read 'The world according to Garp', and when C finished his in-game instance, showered too, and lay down to read 'Newton's Wake'.

I woke at noon the next day, and we finally made it out of the house (not until I also did another batch of laundry and some more ironing) to eat Hoe Nam prawn mee. Subsequently we went to town to walk a bit, have coffee together and to watch 300, after I needily bought another new skirt and book.

We went to meet C's family for dinner.

I came home, went to buy some groceries, ate some fruit, did more ironing, washed the toilet in my room - my hands are now very raw - and showered. I also did some prep for work tomorrow. (I am conducting some workshops next week. Finally I have an excuse to dress in my suits properly).

Superb weekend. I am going to get ready for bed now. Yummy.

tony tay breaks fans

Daffy, me, C and Kelvin

lately

I haven't really been around because, I decided to try and score boyfriend rep (reputation) by playing WoW (World of Warcraft). Yes I am sheepish.


If you play, my char is Averlorn, on Shadowmoon, Horde.


I hardly feel I could become as fanatic as C, he is standing 4 on his server's PvP rankings. And although it is probably sacrilege to say so, it is only a game to me, so no I will not become someone who takes leave to play on the battlegrounds.


But I have been taking away time from writing to play the game these few days, so here I am with an explanation, however illegitimate it may be a reason. I promise I will still be around, and back for more.


My week in real life: I will be busy with the usual work, and this Saturday I will be going out to Loof again for Irwin's birthday. I have been watching anime with C in between his games, lately we have been mad about Shakugan no Shana. It is really good, almost better than Bleach I must say, with more intricate serious emo moments too.


A couple of thanks I have to say: Thanks DW for quoting me on Amongst Other Things, Sibeh Sian for saying I had a nice ponytail. I feel so loved!

at loof

Martell

I just came back home via Calvin in the Tan family Integra, from supper, and before that, the Martell event. Now I speak as if it were the Event, and really, in the world of would-bes and media-type posers, it seemed rather so.


A precursor to the event itself, was when our friend Kenneth (also affectionately known as Kenny, or KO) got out of the car and went to check out the parking lots jam we were in when we were arriving and looking for a place to park. It turns out some guy - a white Subaru WRX - parallel parked with his butt too far out on a sloping S-curved one way road. A bus could not get through, and thus neither could anyone else. Four police folk came, three of them men, and they and KO went to physically lift up the car into place so the bus could get through and clear up the traffic. Subsequently all the cars parallel parked (illegally) were booked. Hah.


Anyway I have no photos to show of the event itself, you shall have to just wait for it in Juice or from Dawn Yang's blog or something like that.


What I do have, is a large swollen bruise on my shin. You see, the organisers had this, manner, of putting strange boxed-up plywood contraptions in the way of the crowd, to act as platforms for Martell-high folks to dance on. It completely blends in with the surrounding darkness. Or maybe it is just me.


Martell is great, and we had a few nice drinks. One was with caramel - excellent. I had two of those. We each had a shot of something, which is also Martell, but with what else, we couldn't decipher, it was slightly minty. I don't like shots. There was also the green-tea version, which Eleanor liked and it was Cal's favourite drink at a time. They were all free flow, not that we could drink very much anyway.


Except for an uncle that Eleanor was rather amused by, because he obviously had too much Martell. He was sprawled on the street and on bouncers who were taking him away. He also, according to Eleanor, scolded cars and sprawled on their bonnets.


The music they were spinning was okay, the jumbled mix that events do because they have to please everyone, which meant that you don't get a long continuous strain of what you would personally like.


It is also amazing how many familiars you can spot at this kind of event. Spotted: an ex-church mate, an ex-banker-colleague, and the odd celeb and pseudo-celeb, important public type figures. Everyone here and there seemed either out of place or rather falsely-dignified that they got invited to the event, if you know what I mean. But well, so were we, we aren't even media or in the related industries.


The plus of it all, is still the Martell itself. Yum. We got a free bottle of Martell to take home too! Yay! No more lonely nights, ohhh, no more lonely nights. Well, not literally, it just signifies that it is probably a cue for another party at home very, very soon.


After awhile, we walked to the car a long way - the event was atop Mount Faber, at Jewel Box, and needless to say the nearest lots were occupied. And no valet parking either. C rested in the car and I with him, because he is actually rather allergic to alcohol - with blackening vision, low blood pressure, nausea and all that, thankfully seldom so. After about half an hour or so, we went to Geylang for supper - beef kway teow.


Yum, still lingering for some caramel Martell.

the arty things I did today

1. Taught acrylic painting class with Miss Angela. Landscape painting of a scene at East Coast Park. See previous post.
2. Made a monoprint on an old teeshirt using fabric paints. Sewed a button as decor and used fabric pastels to add details. Sounds nicer than it turned out.
   
3. Mixed media artwork using acrylic paint with gloss medium to make it drippy, oil pastels, water colours, on board primed with emulsion paint and with a collage of different types of paper.
4. Put together a simple powerpoint to use for watercolour painting.

the weekend in shreds of happenings:

The highlight of the weekend included drinks at Phuture - only three albeit a good recovery from my alcohol-dryness. It was a sign, the ability to drink again with a body void of NSAIDS and other related medicines - it meant I was getting better. I had a Chivas on the rocks, a Heineken long-neck and a gin and tonic. The last drink is a deviant from my usual but I really needed a slightly-stiff bitter alcoholic drink with a wedge of lime - that was NOT vodka because I am definitely not in a sissy mood. Gin is so hard to drink sometimes that is really makes you suffer for the pleasure, and elongates the longevity of the drink taken in at the bar, with a lovely someone by your side as an accompaniment - and the company lasts. Somehow the weariness of the weeks past fades away for the rest of the night, when you relax with a good drink - alcohol or otherwise really. (Coffee or tea or juice will suffice, unfortunately there are too many associations these drink-genres have with working hours. Seldom do people drink at work. I almost never drink before 6pm, or at least I try. But coffees and the like imply a need for sustenance to return to work, instead of getting away from it.)



We went home rather early and despite my Saturday after-work evening nap till late-dinner time, I slept really easily after the short-ish night had ended. It was a good sleep: in a position and orientation unusual to the way I normally sleep, which would be vertical and near the edge so I can hear/switch off the alarm when it goes off, instead I slept with things still on my bed, perhaps the light still on (I don't remember) and with my feet pointing at the door which was ajar throughout the night. The waste of the night was that I awoke early the next day twice (not including the alarm, which was meant to call me up for church) because of two prank calls on my house phone. Wtf? But then the second one jolted me up for good and I made it to church without being more than an hour late. Church is good. I just wish it was in the evening.



Throughout the afternoon till now I nursed a headache for I-have-no-idea-what-reason. The headache climaxed when I was in a cab on my way to my student's house after lunch while I was marking her assignment. It hasn't gone away since. Looks like I am back to the whole rubbish of being ill. I came home after one lesson instead of the usual two lessons I do on Sunday, and napped till late and had an arduous time getting myself a late dinner.



I would write more about the weekend to complete the story but I am in need of sleep sleep and more sleep.



And where sleep is concerned: I wish I could wake up much later after I go to bed, perhaps in a week - and maybe in my parents' house in JB where I would not have to face the gruelling shitty pleasure I call work, for perhaps a year. No my job does not suck - I do, but that is another story - but I am being worn down and aged, to a point where I wonder if the rest of the world is still waiting for me while I plow away. Probably not. My parents will be older, my biological children will be thirty years apart in age from me, at the very least, I will not get to see my Calvin more than I do already, which is seriously still not enough nourishment to my soul where this brand of vitamin C is concerned. But heck it, I will go sleep and just live each day and savour each bite-sized moment, and hope nobody bothers me while I am at it.



They say children have faith, and teenagers have passion - at least that is how I interpret the general opinions. So what are we bloody adults left with - wisdom perhaps? But it is not as fun as passion. I rather have the passion and listen to others for their wisdom. It is not very fun being an adult sometimes - everything gets so desensitised and blah. Sex is uncomfortable instead of pleasurable (sometimes); you infuse yourself with alcohol and manage to walk out of the bar without tripping over, instead of having drunk and do silly dances ala Ridley's and Kylie style (not that I ever did anyway, this I heard from H from years ago); eating becomes a chore and a responsibility sometimes, instead of the bingefests that teenagers can do almost guiltlessly, at least I know I was definitely like that when I was younger. Desensitised desensitised. I just want to go and sleep now and really never wake up for a week.

dinner today

Guess where I went for dinner? En route home from the west-end boondocks that is Choa Chu Kang, I diverted from the train and took a bus from Marsiling that went in the direction of my house - but not really, I would have to change another bus to get home or else walk rather far for a tired day. The bus, on its long journey, went past the Macpherson kopitiam and I decided to get down, premature before my stop, to eat the Whitley Road macaroni there for my dinner.


When I stayed in Potong Pasir for a part of my life, about ten years ago now - wow - I used to eat this macaroni for dinner by myself when I had the chance. It comes with pork slices, minced pork, liver, lettuce, two quails' eggs, all in a delicious stock that is so good to drink steaming hot, when they have just poured it out from the pot it was cooked in. So good, and I love quails' eggs. I could eat a skewer-full of quails' eggs, the kind that my Dad would buy for supper from the luk-luk van if I were in JB with them.


It does relive some old feelings, and it sure beats eating the same old Ubi food. Despite my gastric, I had a good appetite. Now I know what is really good to eat, on a sick tummy.

weekend

I don't even like aeroplanes, but I went to boring Asian Aerospace to spend my Saturday afternoon because otherwise poor-thing Calvin would have had to go alone via public transport by himself out to the boondocks - I had to go to Pasir Ris again! - when he had two complimentary tickets to waste, courtesy of his daddy. It was hot and I came back feeling hot. Thank God for $8 shades from Thailand, else it would have been worse. I can barely comprehend the fascination with planes. Nice to see meh?


Saturday night was Phuture and the music was really good, you didn't need to drink to be happy. Kelvin and Daphne, while they were waiting for C and I, had multiple one-for-ones before we arrived, and C and I only had two drinks each the whole night. Cal had a whiskey neat and a screwdriver with less vodka - yeah, the bartender was like, 'You sure ah?', and I had two very sissy drinks: a whiskey dry and a yawn, yawn, cosmopolitan.


Then came Sunday. Today I am ill from gastric pains, headaches and feeling faint, because I had no medicine in the house anymore. I am still feeling unwell. Meals or no meals. I need Famodine. Now I realise I need it to control my gastric pains, I have been okay till now largely only because of Famodine. I have been surviving on them most days of my weeks. Doctor was closed today and I couldn't go get any meds. I feel no good at all. Need to rest till I can go doctor tomorrow.

hiao weekend

I had a really hiao weekend; spent so much time holidaying away my weekend right here in Singapore.


You see, it feels like a holiday because, among other holiday-ish reasons, it was rather reminiscent of the days I was hardly studying while doing my degree. When we could have late suppers despite a lack of personal transport, lie around in bed and do nothing but some half-hearted cuddling, closeness and small talk.


On Friday, after cell group, I cabbed down to Adam Road with my guitar on my back after-use. I was to meet my Calvin who actually intended to come for cell group too but he hideously overslept past his alarm much like I was to end up doing this Sunday morning too. So we ate yummy prawn mee at Adam Road - he without the prawns and I without the mee. Yes we are an oddity.


And we spent the rest of the night doing a lot of other holidayish stuff, including, watching the continuing episodes of Full Metal Alchemist, our latest joint anime craze. We end up sleeping at about 5am.


The next day C went on a raid with his guild on WOW and I go for a lesson with my student Alyssa. We met for lunch via cab at Eunos market to have the best lor mee in Singapore.






Located at Eunos Market, next to the MRT. Open only till 2pm everyday. No kidding, it is really very nice. Anyway, Calvin ate $5 worth, this is his second bowl. The stall has, surprisingly, no famous sticker-posters telling of its great worth. But is really good, must try.







After our monstrously heavy lunch, we went to cycle at East Coast, where I got a burn from a lack of protection, because our thoughts for cycling were completely spontaneous, we were hardly dressed for it. Oh well, almost anyway.












I brought the silly Kyocera camera along to take pictures for the kids to paint Impressionism with. The camera is not great, the weather was, though the time of day not ideal for Impressionism:












The weather was really God-sent, for we avoided the parts of East Coast Park that rained, somehow in a timely manner. After that, we went home by bus, it rained heavily, but it was almost completely rain-less around my house. So we walked from bus stop to home dry. After showering, we went to Siglap for dinner at Killiney kopitiam, not before we watched some more episodes of Full Metal Alchemist of course.


We slept early that night, before midnight.


But I still was shacked the next day, and woke at 1130am from hunger! Ate a quickie breakfast consisting of chocolate bread, Earl Grey tea and chicken-in-a-biskit. Yes, I undid most of the good done by the workout on Saturday by now. C was already up since 8am, doing another raid on WOW playing, of course, his alter ego Jorale, the troll shaman.


Of my students I was supposed to meet today, one was very ill and her mom smsed me to cancel tuition for today, which meant that I only had one lesson to give today to another student. Which I did, after, eating at Pastamania Parkway, bacon aglio olio fusili, of course. And doing some shopping, where I bought a top from GG5 on 50% off, 2 bras from Marks and Sparks (no sale, but great fit), 4 pairs of undies from Topshop on 20% off. Yes I have been due for some kind of wardrobe overhaul all this while. I only shopped today as a by-the-way gesture, as I have not managed to plan any shopping rendezvous with any girlfriend for a long time now. And C, what was he doing while I was shopping? Oh well, apart from being the porter, he was playing Solitaire on his O2 somewhere, doing 2-second browses at Topman, and poring over the weird things sold at Topshop - check out the store scrutinisingly to know what they are.


It has felt like a holiday this weekend, also because C has not had to return the family car, because we lived without it for the weekend, and he stayed over at mine without having to rush home at any one time. Which really is a good thing, also because parking at Parkway is not very pleasant.


After meeting my other student at Pasir Ris, I walked around White Sands and bought two girlie mags - my weakness, I know - as well as a new pair of shoes! Pumps in black velvet and with frills and a tiny detail of beads. Yummy. Got them at a discount, for $26.


Was hardly hungry, ate the lovely pies from Cottage Pies, and still have some left over.


Was just trying to play a rendition of Quando3 on my guitar. Also, having a beer, and reading off the net, writing here, and doing laundry. Will pore over my girlie mags, and hang the laundry later, and perhaps another beer. Lovely, lovely.


It has been a lovely weekend.

downstairs my flat

Such a lovely day today. Despite every bone aching and throat being sore from the busy week, lunch around my neighbourhood led me to be inspired of my near-east location. I had a thought to rush to the beach nearby enough, which I would if I had a companion to.








I can hardly believe I stay around here. It is almost wonderful. My flat is a great buy.









Renoir would have loved the shadows cast by the leaves downstairs of my flat today. Impression, indeed.





And so do I...






Yeah I cut my hair, yesterday. I look like a spunky girl-boy now.


Lovely. Anyone for a cycling rendezvous at East Coast?

christmas drama

I sit here, eaten a chocolate-chip muesli bar, and with a beer, writing this as soon as I got home.


I have just returned from one of the best drama performances I have ever attended, at the MGS Auditorium, performed by superb non-artists from my ex-church. I went because I helped conceptualise and paint the backdrop with the team. But after sitting through the performance, I now know that it was my honour to have been in the audience to receive this theatrical experience.


The title of the performance is, 'Defending your life'. I cannot even begin to describe it; words will fail the impact of its presentation to the audience.


In true modern drama style, it had live music - vocal and guitar; dance, which was very well choreographed; and visual art - the backdrop we painted! and other artwork on panels at the foot of the backdrop. The drama was written and directed by Sherilyn, who I must stake claim as my Splashwurks team-mate, because she is such a gem.


I fail at writing more about it. Words will not be able to tell the experience well enough without bastardising it. I shall stop here for now.


Honestly, this tops as the icing on the Christmas cake for me. I had a great Christmas celebration.


I met so many teenagers-turned-young-adults who I knew many years ago - and I still remember almost all their names, and many of them said hello to me, and treated me as part of them even though I left their church four years ago to join my present one.


I met my old friends, to catch up on their lives, to hear stories about them being proposed to or of their career changes.


I also, not very pleasantly but, bearably, had the excruciating privilege of having all of my exes all in the same room at the same time. Too much history in one room, I say. But oh well we are all adults, and we get along civilly somehow. At least, they are all exes and not, ugh, currents.


Thanks to Sherilyn and the fabulous team, for the amazing performance that I would have shed tears whilst it happened, had it not been that I wanted to put up a non-emotional front for the rest of the audience so that I will look brave.

bourgeois friday, chic weekend, adult thoughts

It started with us waking up at lunchtime at his place.


I wore my new skirt, which only cost me $10, and my signature black top, heels and my Coach bag. Calvin was taking me shopping for my outfit for next Saturday's wedding event.


He has said this before, that I am a closet tai-tai. I agreed with him eventually. This was because he mentioned that his family bought and installed ceiling fans in the back porch so that they could have barbecues, and I said, 'Ee, smoky." I guess that meant something.


I must have said other similar things before, subconsciously. I thought about my closet tai-tai fantasies, and realised that perhaps I could do what I need to do on this earth in the capacity of a upper-crust homemaker and wife, aka Marx's private prostitute. I already work from home, and I want to do missions and other welfare work, something that tai-tais do whether it be for the right reasons or not. Maybe this is proof that God indeed knows the desires of my heart, and will grant them to me if I put Him first, isn't that great?


I am not a materialistic, anti-feminist capitalist, I must disclaim. I do however believe that the one in subservience is the one in power, where men and women are concerned. And I do not mind being the one in seeming second-place, because when you empower a man, you are the one in power indeed. Subservience suits me, despite my woman-on-top tendencies. They go hand in hand, really.


C's mom gave me a $50 Taka voucher for my birthday, as well as a high tea 1-for-1 voucher at Orchard Hotel. We headed to town when we were all prettified and perfumed, and started our high tea at 3pm.


High teas are luxuries beyond compare, by Singaporean standards, and in my own judgement. I mean, we have just eaten lunch right, and you will be eating dinner eventually. What constitutes teatime should be mere coffee and pastry - one serving only - and nothing more. But with the invention of high tea, buffet no less, you eat, a lot.


So we did, at just $26+ for 2 people, thanks to C's mom. We had fondue, ice cream, cake, brownie, pudding, dessert hors d'oevres, as well as savouries like chicken wings, laksa, chu-bi-berng. I had endless cups of coffee, which I needed because I was still sleepy.


Decadence, indeed.


After that we went shopping for a 'dress' for me, but of course I ended up with separates and with shoes to match. C paid for everything. You will find out what I bought after K and S's wedding this weekend. I will wear the clothes (and shoes) at other instances also, for sure. Everything cost C about $200 - my birthday present.


We shopped for five hours, and had a quickie dinner before a movie (C's idea, no less). We watched Oliver Twist, a classic, which fed my literary inclinations, so it was okay. See, I am already speaking like a bourgeois lady.


After the movie we went home to C's place, and had some birthday cake with his parents, lovely ice cold cookies-and-cream ice-cream cake, in the warm glow of the living room at about midnight. It was lovely.


The next day, before our separate dinner plans, we went to select some chairs for C's house, at an office furniture shop near my place. We stumbled upon a warehouse sale of IT goods, in a carpark. Talk about a road show with a twist! I bought a 512MB thumb drive for $60+ and a CD-RW drive for $33, using the angpow money I got from my parents for my birthday. C bought a new LCD monitor which was also a TV, for about $500+.


After stopping at home for a break and to get dressed again, I went out with my JC ODAC friends for a hen-nite/stag-nite party because two of them are getting married in the weeks ahead. We had a fabulous dinner at Sushi Tei at Paragon - I got us a VIP room - and dinner cost us only $15 per head. After that we headed to Zouk because Jean's - the bride's to be - friends were there. Phuture was good - breaks and beats. There is more seating space in Phuture now, though the chairs are entirely uncomfortable. Drinks were lovely. We had some vodka in Winebar before that and at Phuture itself I had a few beers, a few Chivas-on-the-rocks.


Supper after that with Calvin was even better.


He told me the most romantic things. That the reason why we couldn't get married yet was for no other reason but that he wasn't happy with his job.


He is not undecided about me, it means. How many men can say that about me? I want to marry this one.


At twenty-six, I am finally adult enough to marry and settle down just like so many of my friends who have walked this route. I often fantasise about a life I would lead without marrying. It always ends up with lonely others, and I will always be too frightened to start a relationship. I might have one-night-stands with exes, or spend time with different men. I had a glimpse of a similar life, in between H and C. It may have been chic and happening, the swinging singleserves lifestyle, but I come to decide that I would rather not. I think it is like having children, that it may seem unglamourous to those outside, but to those involved, the safe route is actually the route to take at least for this one. If C should leave me just like the rest, then I suppose I would end up reverting to that chic lonely life. After all, what is certain except for God Himself? I always start a relationship hoping and planning for it to be the last. But so far my hit rate has been nil. I would be ready to take on the single lonely route, but as for now, it may no longer be necessary, because of lovely C.


I awoke Sunday lunchtime with a mild hangover, which I got rid of with glasses of cranberry/kiwi juice. Afterwards I slept loads again, completely forgetting about housework, which I will do tomorrow in between doing my day's work. I hope to have more sleep soon, dreamless preferably, and without violent tossing. C complained that I punched him in my sleep on Saturday morning. Thankfully he is sleeping at his own place tonight, and I, at mine.

club madness

I need to go drinking.



Sometimes you just feel that you need to be happy and party till late, drink and dance and most importantly, dress up for yourself and your lovely companions.



Only thing good about the time I worked in the bank, was that parties were so often I had to say no sometimes, and that, they were all free.



No worries, party time coming real soon...



Ahead: 2 pre-wedding parties, possibly three, for 3 different couples. I love the fact that I can join in the festivities without actually having to be wed myself.



What I feel like drinking: champagne, like Moet which is on offer at Balaclava if you are keen, and something hard like single malts and cognacs on ice.



What I need to hear: REAL GOOD MUSIC like what I really missed out on Breakinasia, according to Kelvin.




Now! I am gonna work real hard so that I can realise this cravings of mine many times over, very soon.