Privates - Part I
She felt like bringing wine, or ice-cream, over to see him.
If she was given the chance again, she'd want to love him.
In the meantime, she was still mourning for the loss - Lazarus.
Perhaps not tonight. It's raining, and someone's waiting lovingly for her.
Part II
It was for all the wrong reasons. A visit would be most wrongfully unbecoming. How could it be done in a guilt-free manner?
Tears started to form in her aged heart. Aged not by time, but by the ins and outs with her men.
She imagined the scene when, in yet another time, loneliness would occur - because he was leaving. Rucksack on his back, he turned and went.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Friends are the best. They hold you with distance, comfort you when you cry, with or without a shoulder depending on who's present. They sometimes apologise, but most probably without a kiss, unless drunk, then the apology is irrelevant anyway. They last a lifetime like marriage does. In fact sometimes every other connection seems bleak compared to the friendship. You can stay together with friends, you can even sleep with them, pun both intended and not, and there mustn't be strings attached, and you both mustn't have someone to go home to. Otherwise you'll destroy two or three friendships all at once. And friends are the best. Friends expect less of you, yet they support you, and show you the vision you chose, in case you forget or are momentarily blinded by situations. Just like your other half does, only thing is that most other halves, well they tend to be higher on the expectation scale, if my experience is right. I love my friends. I hope that I will marry a best friend and live rather happily with him. Do I wait for that opportunity now, or should I perhaps lower my hopes a little? Every other connection seems bleak.
Thursday, December 9, 2004
Sometimes I wish I never lost him.
He was the greatest love after Jesus
Totally selfish of me, nothing godly
Far from 1 Corinthians 13 love..
I got that now, that kind of love
Yet somehow something still
seems missing, I don't know where
-
I lost him by accident and on purpose
He still appears in my dreams and
O of course in my reality
But it wasn't proper love
- it feels like a loss.
I called it off within me
when I knew that
I would never be of value
to my love
I would always be second best
I would always come after
the rest of everything in his life
I wish I never lost him
I would remain unhappily married
Unhappily in love
Continually torn in pieces by it
Till today.
(Note: As children, we never want what's really good for us. Reasoning like a child. Cf. 1 Corinthians 13:11)
He was the greatest love after Jesus
Totally selfish of me, nothing godly
Far from 1 Corinthians 13 love..
I got that now, that kind of love
Yet somehow something still
seems missing, I don't know where
-
I lost him by accident and on purpose
He still appears in my dreams and
O of course in my reality
But it wasn't proper love
- it feels like a loss.
I called it off within me
when I knew that
I would never be of value
to my love
I would always be second best
I would always come after
the rest of everything in his life
I wish I never lost him
I would remain unhappily married
Unhappily in love
Continually torn in pieces by it
Till today.
(Note: As children, we never want what's really good for us. Reasoning like a child. Cf. 1 Corinthians 13:11)
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