Sometimes I wish I never lost him.

He was the greatest love after Jesus

Totally selfish of me, nothing godly

Far from 1 Corinthians 13 love..



I got that now, that kind of love

Yet somehow something still

seems missing, I don't know where

-



I lost him by accident and on purpose

He still appears in my dreams and

O of course in my reality

But it wasn't proper love

- it feels like a loss.



I called it off within me

when I knew that

I would never be of value

to my love

I would always be second best

I would always come after

the rest of everything in his life



I wish I never lost him

I would remain unhappily married

Unhappily in love

Continually torn in pieces by it



Till today.



(Note: As children, we never want what's really good for us. Reasoning like a child. Cf. 1 Corinthians 13:11)