train wreck

I feel like a train wreck. I keep repeating to myself, 'train wreck, train wreck' and the the words become a poetic chant in my mouth. I really do feel like hell, for a number of reasons:

I haven't been sleeping well. Because I ran out of Remeron, mainly. I take just my regular sleeping pill, and anti-histamines even because of my recent allergies flare-up, and I still can't fall asleep until it is early morning.

Like last night, I fell asleep at some time past five a.m.

As such, I wake up feeling like half my body is creaking and rusting away, yet like a ship that has to set sail, I have to get out of bed. Creaking.

And then I head to the kitchen to find a mess there because of the cats. Crumbs, puke, fur, litter box sand.

So I tell myself, okay, I need a coffee. Makes the world seem better.

But there is no more coffee. No more coffee! Not even a sachet of instant crap that I can use as back-up when the real coffee runs out. I end up with hot chocolate.

I am also too tired, too disorganised to go to the doctor's today, which I was supposed to. I manage a postpone to tomorrow morning.

And I feel too much like a train wreck because of all this, so much so that I can hardly even rest properly for the day now that it is free.

Train wreck, train wreck.

Oh, and my eczema is still itching me.