killing the pain

I went to confide in my Mom. She gave me ultimatums. All I wanted was a hug, but I didn't get it.I tried Slinky, but she barely reciprocated. Afterwards Mom apologised for pressurising me. X^anax calmed me down. Crying helped a bit. After a post-dinner session of gaming, I feel empty again. After tonight I am not sure if I need to take my doctor up on his offer for an emergency prescription tomorrow morning. I am irrational and unlovable. I need to stay away from tall buildings so I won't feel like killing this pain. It feels like nuclear energy that is soon growing all white and ashen with a murderous explosion that will kill me. I am running out of tears.