waiting

I am hoping to get into British Council's CELTA course - basically a professional certificate course like TOEFL, TESOL etc. - but it is all a waiting game right now. Application is in, but I might not necessarily be called down for a selection interview, or I might not even get through the interview! This course intake in August is the last for this year.

My plan is to go to Batam, Indonesia, as a start of my new career. Other doors might open up in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. But everything is a waiting game right now. Patience, my mother would say.

I don't feel very keen on a lot of other things right now, yet I know I need to stay occupied. But my concentration span is not great and daytimes are not really times of my peak performance. I sleep most afternoons and come alive at night.

I don't feel melancholic enough to write much either, uninspired that I am. I try to turn my creativity into playing and singing on my guitars. I try to spend time with people. I try to watch dramas online, go for gigs, watch films. I am reading Sense and Sensibility. I game when I need to. And then I sleep whenever I can.

I can visualise my heart racing when I am back in the flow of this world. I am not sure if I can still think and act and be the person I used to be when I need to be. I fear I might act like I have ADHD, unable to concentrate and stressed out with too much stimuli.

A beer would be good right now.