It's not really working. Writing away my pain, or cleaning, or reading, or hugging my purring cat who knows something is wrong with me. I try to sleep it away but I lie awake in the afternoon dark, curtains drawn of course. I think I just need to stop doing, and just lie down and stop escaping the pain. All those are useful distractions but also smokescreens for what lies beneath. Tears, I give you permission to express my pain now. Words and chores are not working at the moment.