If you had a dream

And it was taken away.

What would be left of you.

How, would you pick up from the ruins. Can you accept that there are ruins. They have been there since the Day. Do you realise they are?

How do you let go of something that grips a facet, a reflection of you. The image on a beautiful mirror. The beautiful image, illusion.

How do you let go.

And realise that that was a very bad dream, it only hurt you so good you didn't realise. And that life should be better.

Say it to yourself.

'It should be better.'

Now, do you believe it? That there are others better, situations better.

That you are selfish in wanting. Absolutely. You really only care for yourself. Eating yourself in.

I am selfish. I find it difficult to want the good and completely relinquish the bad.

I keep thinking about how it hurt me and I enjoyed the pain.

Help me.

I remember and I don't want it yet I do, like the way you want to be spanked by your lover, or the way a child wants to be tickled by his parent, or the way you may nearly die but still want to jump off a plane.

Or how you keep eating the fats though it will kill you. Or how you keep on drinking cos you like it even though its poison for your liver.

Remembering myself drowning in a sea of bad dreams and tears. Like a local short film of a depressive, we led a life like that for a while, and you know the ending of those films sometimes. No one lives well, really. He never lives happily ever after.

Help me.

How do you let go?

I love them, but I hate myself.

Selfish little me.

Help me. Make me let go. It has gone on long enough, the road has met the fork in itself, I have to go now. Really do. May I never see you again.