Sunday, January 10, 2010

I don't know if I can do this. S's wedding is this Friday, a whole-day till evening starting as early as 5 a.m. I haven't altered my cheongsam which I can barely fit into. I haven't bought my outfit for the day. My nails are chipped. I will need to pack lots of things in my go-bag for the day itself. I feel too fat, which I am, since I am still on that stupid Remeron and have given up exercising because it makes me fatter than I can slim down through exercise. I haven't been remembering to take my Lexapro - and I feel terrible, and I must remember them from tomorrow morning onwards. I feel like I am mentally deflating fast, I worry I might breakdown on the actual day. I wish I could skip the wedding but a best friend is still a best friend, I don't think I have a choice, particularly when I have already been assigned important things to do throughout the day. I hate weddings.

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