crush

My first crush on a boy was on my first day of primary school. His name was Christopher. He was a bit waifish: fair, skinny, reserved. Much like my second crush, Kenji, whom I met when I was barely eight years old, and adored all the way till I was eleven. Ha, I have no idea where the idea of having a crush descended from. I just knew I liked him. Nice to look at, makes my heart a-flutter, gives me some reason to wear my hair nicely when I go to school, that sort of thing. No, I wasn't reading Sweet Valley High prematurely, I really only read Enid Blyton till I reached my tweens. TV was not like it is now; I pretty much grew up on just SBC 8 drama serials and cartoons, so, no, I didn't get my romantic ideas from TV.

Back then, and in most of my teenage years, we had crushes based on looks and personality. She's so cute, so cool - that was it. Today, single adults are so jaded. 'Looks' and 'personality' are otherwise known as just 'fuckability' in today's SATC-styled world. A crush becomes a false hope, a fling, or a broken relationship - one of the above. Having a crush is a sign of being immature. Real adults have relationships based on a whole lot more than just looks and personality. If you have a crush, too bad. Forget it, unless you two are compatible can communicate have common interests are on the same social standing have the money to get married blah blah.

Is having a crush really an adult faux pas? What explains physical attraction? Is it just part of the equation in finding lovable companionship? I cannot love a man based on his social qualifications. But I can fall in love with a crush. Go figure that one, and tell me.