Tuesday, May 27, 2008

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Thank you all for reading me.

I find myself finally, really, truly, now someone who is an open book for others to read me. I used to hide behind cryptic posts here on worldsuponwords, just so that I could hide the truth from the world and yet still write as a release and a comfort to my pain.

I had a really long conversation about myself tonight for a pair of willing ears. The void when the listener goes and leaves behind for me is a deafening silence. I no longer want to hide as much. I would rather have company than solitude sometimes.

I guess I have changed somewhat. From deliberately stressing myself out to share with my friends, to actually finding it easy to talk in a crowd again. Medication gives me the energy to do that, I do feel; it is still a main source of upping my abilities to deal with people and real life. This is progress.

Company is such a beautiful thing sometimes. Thank you for bearing with me. My past, my future. My bitching, my whining even. My fierce opinions, my cutting remarks put across as tastefully that I can. The million times I interrupt you (and this I will keep trying to improve).

The fact that you bother to listen and to read me, still, means that you care enough about this person saying these words. And for that, I love you.

3 comments:

  1. Hi, Elaine!
    I loved this post and this blog.
    have a nice day

    ReplyDelete
  2. All you friends care for you in many different ways dear :) And of course we all love you too!

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  3. we all have our own pile of crap to deal with in our lives. And i am happy to hear that slowly u are feeling better.
    Take your time to be yourself, accept yourself. Its not easy but its also not impossible. =D
    -jac00

    ReplyDelete