I always wondered how human beings decided their destiny with regards to marriage.
How would you know that this is the one to marry?
Every single one of my boyfriends, I thought I would marry. It was utter conviction that I would. In the end, I didn't, or haven't. No, it is not because I was being too pushy that they left. But it really is impossible, almost.
It becomes more and more grey as I trudge along. Especially with happily-ever-after married pals talking to you about YOUR happily-ever-after possibilities.
It is an almost impossible decision for me to make.
How can anyone be so sure?
I want to be able to be free to travel in order that I may do my missions, and plant my businesses and churches and ministries. But with a husband+children combination, I have to choose my steps so carefully, at times I am tempted to leave it and trudge alone.
But then, I am so lonely that I will be completely miserable without a soulmate that I am absolutely in love with.
When he materialises, I will know.
I said to Cal, that I'd rather be the guy in the lousy car with someone in the passenger's seat beside him, that be the other guy in the fancy Beemer, alone.
He said, "Me too."
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