secrets

Open -
book that I am not
I hesitate


with all that bubbles
beneath me,
for or else
you would know me
my scaly skin
beneath that,
which is me.


I work up
with exciting stories
mine or others'
for pleasure is my domain
mine and others'
secrets are my domain
yours and mine -
I will have you whole.


I eat you and mine
like I eat myself
kill myself
and drown my men
burying dreams of them
in my love-bed.


Bursting forth at the seams
I have no newness
only that of my age
and too much
accumulated for me.


secrets
tell me let me tell you
Jupiter says so,
But I say not.
For I am not your rule.


People loathe to hear
sick details like gynaecological exams
douches kiss-and-tells
how to wear a tampon
whether he withdrew in time.


I hate them too
keep them away from me.


It is hard to curse without saying a word
fuck without making a sound
cry without shedding a tear
laugh in silence
be someone else
be a child
or adult.


Live with your secrets
like you would with your lover
at least,
he, or someone, was there,
to share them with you
save them all
tell them tonight to your bed -
shrine of fantasies and dreams
that were, or never will be.


I am not like this
keep me away from yourself.